Sunday, March 22, 2009
Venus and Willies
Thanks to Pityriasis Rosea, George the Younger continues to slowly morph in to some kind of horrific super-hero, comic book character. Sort of like a guy who has inadvertently come in to contact with a caustic gene altering agent while on a school field trip to a chemical plant. At this point, his skin resembles the bubbling hot crusty surface of Venus. It's hard to imagine being in his skin. It's so hard to imagine, that I simply don't do it. I would have to claw my way right through my epidermis. I can't believe that he's being such a trooper.
So as the various non-torso parts of his body became new territory for this creeping itchy rash, I began to wonder on Friday if he really has this Pityriasis thing after all. So like all 21st century parents, I took matters in to my own hands and perused the web looking for representative images of this skin malady. What I came across were a lot of pictures showing people with one very large "herald patch" and a patch of smaller bumps all over their torsos. There were some photos of more serious cases that look more similar to George the Younger, but these were labeled as atypical. As I said just a minute ago, George the Younger looks as if he is auditioning for "The Thing" in the Fantastic Four (except that you'd need to color The Thing bright red, take away all his muscles and make him look like all he wants to do is scratch himself relentlessly). I called the Dr. again.
For the record, I am NOT a panicky Mom. I am not prone to exaggerating symptoms. But in this case, there is no need for hyperbole. My poor boy is suff-er-ing. This scourge has even started to crawl up his weenie. A neck is one thing. When it moves to your arms that's another thing. When the Nasty starts to affect the willy - - well, that's a whole new ball of wax (so to speak). And, if that doesn't make the men who read this reach to tenderly cradle and shield their crotches, then you are an exceptionally hardy bunch. George the Elder can't even look at it without physically recoiling and shaking his head. I mean, how bad does it have to be that your 12 year old son actually lets his mother apply cream to his privates? I'm gonna have to go with pretty damn bad.
Of course, the doc couldn't see him on Friday or Saturday. We will head off to see her tomorrow morning first thing. The weekend has been very very long. We've tried everything from benydril to oatmeal baths to Emu Oil (Yup, someone obviously has time to squeeze oil from an emu). But beyond about a 15 minute reprieve, there's no long-term relief.
But, even in the midst of feeling like a big red itchy blob of a person, George bucked up and played his first little league game today. He is on the Reds (ha ha ha - funny to me, but not to him). They lost, but it was a good game. G made some exceptional defensive plays at shortstop, but couldn't seem to get his bat on the ball. Something tells me that when your arm pits feel and look like a pulsating wasp's nests - - you might not be on top of your game. I'm not making excuses for him. I'm just saying.