Tuesday, March 30, 2010


It's Spring in full force here in our world. It's been fun to walk around the new hood and see what happens 'round these parts in the spring. Checking out the neighbor's flowers, finding out that the trees in our own yard have their own special timing to sprout their new sprouts and bloom their new blooms.

What's not so fun is realizing that the gargantuan tree adjacent to our house on the street, the one that provides such lovely shade in the summer, is also a fiendish super-species that belches out copious amounts of little spherical pollen-bombs. It's eerily creepy, in a sci-fi way, how much seed this bad boy spills out. It's covered the sidewalk, it's clumping on our shoes, it flies in the windows. It's possessed.

I know that it will end. But, in the meantime it has a side effect. Henry has allergies. Having the ginormous pollen gusher vomiting what can only be described a wee tiny miniature fribbles all over the house is causing issue. It required a trip to target for more allergy medicine. We've tried bunches of them, but have settled on cetirizine /nasal spray combo for the ultimate in pollen prophylaxis.

First, a shout out to Target for their new "up & up" brand. Buying Zyrtec for everyday use is an expensive proposition. Don't get me wrong, if the drug can stop Henry from spewing snot showers on his computer screen regularly, I'm down with it. But, props to Target for taking a stand and selling the same damn stuff for WAY less.

But... (and you knew there was going to be one didn't you?)... who in the name of all-that-is-holy designs the packaging for these little mini-gems of prevention? Who takes what is essentially a pill the size of a new-born rolly-polly, and puts it in a package that is obviously designed to withstand a nuclear blast? Not to mention be thwarted by human hands (impossible) or kitchen sheers (not without some serious post-kindergarten snipping skills).

Perhaps there is some nefarious underground group that uses cetirizine as the base ingredient in the newest designer drug? You know, the one that gives you such an amazing high AND ensures the whitest whites in your eyes and no sneezing while hallucinating! Yet, let's be realistic. IF this is used by creepy drug lords, they might be a little put off by the anyone-proof packaging, but I have a sneaky feeling they're gonna find a way around it. And, yes, I too can find a way around it - I just don't really want to have to.

I understand the blister pack mentality. And that would be super if a little weak-assed plastic and an opposable thumb was all that was between me and the little orange drop of chewable pill. But NOOOOO! Layered upon the blister is a mantle of paper-backed-foil that has been attached to the blister pack with an incorruptible adhesive. Sure, there's a minuscule little secret entry labeled "peel" in the bottom left hand corner, but a) you still gotta get out the shears to get to the secret entrance and b) even if you do snip along the prescribed dotted lines, the tension between blister pack and incorruptible foil is so great that it's nearly impossible to grasp the .0000765 inch flap and successfully pull it back to free the drug.

Me, I've taken to just hacking it apart with the kitchen shears. Screw the dotted lines, the challenging corner peel, and the blister release after peeling. I only have about 50 minutes from the time Henry wakes up to free the drug from it's casing and get it in his mouth before he leaves for school. If I did it the right way, I'd need to set the alarm for 3a.m. just to prepare myself for the onslaught of package attack.

I'm done ranting now. I am going to take another walk through the hood this morning. I am going to make note of any other homes that are adjacent to the monster-pollen-producing trees like mine. I'm seriously thinking of buying a few pairs of strong kitchen shears, tying some ribbons around the handles and leaving them as secret gifts. Surely one of them is also wresting a package of zyrtec to the ground and would appreciate the sentiment.

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