Saturday, July 18, 2009

A Wing and A Prayer

"Every day, unsuspecting people wander into construction projects like babes in the woods, and they come out wondering what the heck happened in there..." And so begins the introduction to the book "What Your Contractor Can't Tell You".

This little gem of a book arrived yesterday from Amazon. A gift from George the Elder to me. The man is a genuine romantic. My question is - - why is the gift for me? Is this perchance a not so subtle hint that I'd better bone up on all-things-remodel so when the shit hits the fan I'm in the cross hairs? Me thinks this is a bit of a set-up. Get the unsuspecting girl to read said informational reading material providing boy with the ability to shout (when things go wrong) "Why weren't you prepared for this? I GAVE you the BOOK!!!"

I'm not saying this is his fundamental motivation. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he was just trying to help. On the other hand, I'm also considering the worst case scenario and am thusly preparing myself for that potential time in the not so far future where George the Elder blurts out - "What the hell? Didn't you read the chapter entitled Tick Tock: How Time = Money on a Construction Project??" Hop to Hop Sing. Time is MONEY!!

So, I will read the book. The first chapter says that prior planning prevents piss poor performance - - words to live by in any event (see previous paragraph). So, I will head out to my local book store and purchase all manner of design magazines (of which there are many) and begin to cut out pages of appurtenances and accouterments that my dream kitchen will possess. Big picture, I'm thinking that it should have a stove and a fridge and a sink. But maybe the Book will give me some other ideas - like including a built-in chef instead. Now that'd be something useful.

Oh, and I guess I should bone up on the difference between a back hoe and a front hoe (if there is such a thing). Since we will be excavating a basement, it may be useful to get another book entitled "How to Manage Your Insurance Provider When the House Caves In". Prior planning and all....

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