Oink and Croak

Note to all my extremely liberal blog readers: This may be a post that you might want to skip. Forewarned is forearmed (or so they say).

Lately I've been feeling hinky about something. Hinky in the sense that I feel bothered, but I can't exactly put my finger on it. Hinky in the sense that when I do put my finger on it, I end up feeling like a selfish toad. Hinky in the sense that I don't think of myself as your basic selfish toad - and yet...

I might start by supporting the I'm-not-a-selfish-toad thing. Not to ring my bell or anything, but I do my share of giving. I donate to a decent number of well meaning groups. MS Society, Cystic Fibrosis, Breast Cancer - you know the ones. I try to support my friends who are walking or riding or swimming or skateboarding for the causes and charities that they hold dear to their own hearts. I participate in the walk-a-thon, the this-drive, the that-drive and the who-knows-what drive to support our kid's school who does a great job of ensuring that lots of different kinds of folks can attend there. I give my time and my money to Cambodia Tomorrow to ensure that our school there is successful. I even give out the occasional money to the guy on the street. And yet...

What I'm finding bothersome and disturbing lately is how much more I am expected to give. For things that don't have much to do with me. Just things that, because we have enough money, someone else expects us to give to them. It's like a great number of Americans have embraced the notion that they "deserve" things - things that they don't work for and oftentimes things that they don't even appreciate once they've been given.

I graduated college with a degree in elementary education. Not exactly the most marketable degree - and certainly not the way to start earning "the big bucks." I spent a few years living on the edge. The edge of not being able to pay my rent, my childcare bills, my food bills. So, it's not as if I don't understand the "need." And, yet, with some hard work I managed to get to where I am now. What I am beginning to resent is that there are so many who don't want to do the work to get there. They just want me to finance it for them. And this bothers me. More than I would like it to.

The whole premise of taking from the rich to pay for the poor niggles me. The whole premise of "I'm entitled" bugs me to no end. I know it's not PC. I know it's not popular (hence the selfish toad thing). But, darn it. I worked. I earned. I sacrificed time away from my kids to ensure their futures. And yet, there are those that feel that because I have it - well they should get it from me. Why? I dunno. That's what stumps me.

And the worst of it is that when I am forced to give it away - taxes for this, fees for that - I get the sense that it's not appreciated by the lion's share of those who get it. There's no increase in volunteerism, there's little "giving back" there's just this gaping hole of "I deserved it." One tiny snapshot: Look at the survivors of Katrina. Many are still sitting on their keisters waiting for someone to come and bail them out. They didn't get enough. They weren't given everything. They're pissed off cause it wasn't made exactly right for them. Another tiny snapshot: A family who receives food stamps is asked to give back to the same community by helping to pick up trash and is incensed that they "have to." Why? I dunno. That's what stumps me.

Maybe I would feel better if I knew the people who were getting the benefits of the money that we give. You know - we could match up haves with havenots and try for the quid pro quo kind of thing. I give you money, you volunteer somewhere. I give you money, you help clean up the neighborhood. I give you money, you get to be the crossing-guard at your school. I dunno. Something. Anything. Some kind of tit for tat. Something for something.

Instead, my experience is that I give the money and I volunteer and I help clean up the neighborhood and I am the crossing guard. And I am the one who pays for social programs and foots the bill for a better health care program. For all that, and we still have to work harder to ensure that our own children go to University. Yup. Selfish Toad.

Croak Croak. Oink Oink. And now, let us return to our regularly schedule programming....