Non-Dairy Creamers

Today I opened my "blogger dashboard" just to see what's up with what. I like to check on some of the blogs I follow, and I also like to make myself feel badly for how long it's been since I've updated.

But today! Today, besides catching up and feeling guilty, I got some great electronic advice. Today, I had an intriguing little message from Amazon about how to turn my tiny little unsuspecting blog, with a grand total readership of 25, into a real cash cow. A money magnet. A way to pay for loads of things without really working. I just need to advertise. For Amazon. And, if other blogs that I read are any indication, well, I could advertise for a whole bunch of other nifty stuff and pretty soon...yup, pretty soon, the big bucks would start rolling in. Now that's something I can sink my teeth in to.

Still, I have some reservations. They'd be the same reservations I have when I open up my gmail account and realize that someone must have sent me an email with a bawdy joke in it cause, damn, if there isn't an advertisement for the miracle cure to erectile dysfunction in the side bar. It's just fricking creepy.

This morning I was working on some accounting for Cambodia Tomorrow and my sidebar is already full of accounting for non-profit stuff. I also got an email from Henry's science teacher changing the date of the 5th grade science fair - yup, sidebar change to "Books by the Foot" and "So, You Wanna Be A Math Teacher?". Gmail mines for subject matter better than Shell looks for oil. Fricking Creepy.

Let's say I invite Amazon in to my "home" here at blog central. I write a post where I recommend "Little Women" as the best book I've read lately. Simultaneously, in the same post I wax philosophic on the assorted attributes of Coffee-Mate vs the real-cow-deal for my morning cup 'o joe. Given the alarming and formidable accuracy at which data can be mined in a single post - I have a sinking feeling that those two topics put together may just end up redirecting my 25 blog readers to "Girls Got Cream" - a raunchy porn site that I swear I have never visited, but was able to get wind of with just two easy clicks of my search engine today. Imagine the speed at which that connection could be made if I had a big giant computer for a brain. Fricking Creepy.

(For those that have trouble following along: Little Women = Girls, Coffee-Mate = Cream. Are you with me now? Thanks for catching up - - it made so much more sense in my own head.)

Alas, for now gentle readers, I am going to have to pass on the ride in the "let's make money while blogging" train. While I sure could use those big bucks - with my luck I'd just end up with a whole side bar of porn. This, indeed, might serve to increase my readership - but then I'd have a whole 'nother problem on my hands. Fricking Creepy.