Monday, April 26, 2010

A Match Made in Heaven

In the good old days when woman felt that good old UTI feeling coming on, (you know the one where you sit down to take a little wee wee and suddenly it feels like there's a tiny little ball of flesh eating acid permanently lodged in your wahookee?) you hied yourself as fast as you could to your family doctor and peed in a cup. No so any longer. This morning I was introduced to the UTI kiosk. As fine a meeting as I ever have made so far in this lifetime.

No more trying to figure out what a "clean catch" is. No more peeing all over your hand. No more carrying that little warm glass of bacteria laden liquid to the nurse. No more waiting to get that clinical diagnosis from someone measuring microbes and pathogens in your netherlands. Nope. Thanks to the whizdom of technology, you can now just belly right up to the UTI Kiosk, answer some electronic questions - whizzzz - out pops your prescription just like an ATM receipt.

It's a marvel. It's the one of the world's finest scientific inventions. It makes the ATM look like it has no brain just taking deposits and spitting out twenties. THIS computer kiosk can tell you whether or not you have a UTI by merely standing in front of it with a germ infested telephone receiver jammed to your ear! As if you didn't already know exactly what it was that was ailing ya since you are sort of doing the painful pee pee dance while you're plugging in your answers. But Jeepers! Is this not the perfect marriage between medicine and applied science for the common-folk? Screw your gamma knives. This thing is useful for 50% of the population at least one time or another in their lives.

The only improvement that I could see was if you could log on to the UTI program at home and have the door bell ring 20 minutes later with a speedy delivery man hand delivering the phenazopyridine to you personally.I'm sure that's somewhere down the line in the future. I've seen the Jetsons. I know this is possible.

As for now...Kiosks. they're not just for airline tickets any more.


KB said...

That's fantastic, almost as fantastic as working the word wahookee into conversation.

Stephanie said...


Chris said...

Koisks, well I'll be damned. An alternative to stocking up on Cipro every time I go to Mexico.