Friday, May 8, 2009

Mystery Revealed

Last night at dinner George the Younger grew tired of maintaining the ruse regarding the mysteriously wet cell phone. After some cajoling (Are you SURE that you have NO IDEA how your phone got wet? I mean are you absolutely completely entirely SURE?? Look at me when you answer...), he admitted that maybe he knew what had happened. He finally spilled and said, "If I tell you this, you will be sorry that you touched it."

Turns out that he had the phone in his sweatshirt pocket and inadvertently dropped it in to the toilet at school. Trust me when I say that this was better news that I had hoped for after his comment! But then I remembered that my kids do not like public restrooms. In their opinion these are places were heinous super germs dwell. These unseen microsopic organisms are powerful enough to burn out your eyes and shrivel up your penis within minutes. Hell, Henry will hold it for some markedly unbelievable amount of time before he can get home to his own comfort zone! Although, with Henry this fear may also have something to do with him having to completely strip down naked for his constitution. It's challenging to get completely undressed in the school lav. My thoughts wander to when he will finally outgrow this odd behavior. It's gonna be pretty awkward for him when he goes away to college.

What's weird is that our kids have traveled to some pretty out of the way places. Places where hovering is required. Places where toilet paper consists of a bucket and a ladle. Places where a "bathroom" literally means a hiding place behind a nearby tree. And, I can say with some degree of assurance that when the spirit moved them in those locals they couldn't wait 10 days to get back to the bathroom at the Four Seasons. They took what they could get. Don't we all? But, given the proximity of getting home from school or the grocery store or Target, they are more inclined to wait.

Anywho - - looks like I will need to go out and buy him a new phone today. The rice has succeeded, but only marginally. There is a very, very faint picture on the LCD screen. I suspect that, unlike most of us who understand that "time is of the essence" when their phones begin sinking in the bowl, he was not as aggressive in reaching in to grab it quickly. Surely there were at least a few minutes of "Awe MAN that's disgusting! There's no way I'm reaching in there!!" It's most likely that it sat that the bottom of the bowl taking on water until he could figure out a tool with which to fish it out. And while I haven't specifically asked him, there's a possibility that once it was retrieved, it may have then been rinsed off in the sink for good measure. Like that would help.

And finally, it's hard to be upset with him about this. I, for one, can admit that I too have heard the sickening kerplunk of the phone in to the toilet. Hate that sound. And it does make you kinda of embarrassed to admit that you were stupid enough to let it happen. Especially when you are 12 and don't want anyone to know you were a blockhead. Lucky for us, most of us know that 12 year old boys are just simply walking blockheads. That's why we love them.


Molly said...

Charlie continues to strip down naked as a preference, but fortunately he can also maintain dress as long as he can do his homework at the same time.

I am thinking he's gonna need a new robe for college if this is to continue. And maybe a TV tray. :)

Denise said...

Wendy, this was a wonderfully amusing tale and with the stressful state of affairs here in Johnstown, PA I certainly appreciated the laugh out loud. Have you been in touch at all with Tracy or Jake or Susan?