Thinking Outside the Box

Had a nice conversation with an old friend on the phone last week. Her husband is working with (around?against?in conjunction?) with BP to try to wrap their heads around the massive problem with a leaking oil pipe. Seems they keep trying lots of things to solve the problem. And, they're not having a whole lotta luck.

My friend believes that they have the wrong folks thinking about the problem. Me? I think she's really on to something.

I suggest a new executive committee to look at the problem. This executive committee would consist of some of the greatest minds in modern history. A group of people who have had oodles of experience with leakage in the broadest of senses. A group of women. Woman who from the age of 12 or 13 have spent countless hours contemplating the problems associated with absorbency.

While your every day common-woman is probably sufficient, I suggest recruiting women from specifically Proctor & Gamble, Playtex and Kotex just for some added professional oomph. Honestly. Now here are some ladies who have spent countless hours of deep thought and scientific analysis on how to stifle a flow.

And yes, my little mystery solving friends, my friend recommended nothing short of a tremendous tampon. A brilliant and masterful solution.

No this is not a viable long term solution. But then, tampons were never designed for long term use. Their design is simple, effective and biodegradable. They only last a determined length of time so that the user can go swimming or wear white pants. All the design gurus from these illustrious queens of industry gotta do is configure a sanitary product of the right size (think Washington monument) that will absorb the flow for several hours. The tricky part is designing the exterior case / applicator so that tampon's trip down many thousands of feet of sea water does not result in a ginormous spongy triangle the size of your everyday pyramid. I am sure that they can think of something.

Once the Tamponator is inserted, the BP engineers can swoosh down there and cement a lid on the top of the pipe. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.

Women have been doing this for years. Women are also know for their ability to solve any household maintenance problem with a coffee cup and a kitchen knife. So frankly, if the BP engineers can't get their mind around how to affix the final cap to the top of the pipe, I am sure we can all rummage through our own junk drawers and come up with something. Duck tape is always a favorite. Perhaps some combination of duck tape and WD40?? Don't know for sure, but let's get some of the gals together and solve the problem.

After that, we can all take some Midol, sit back and crack open a box of See's caramels. Every one's a winner.