This week George the Younger experienced a surprising milestone. Surprising for him and surprising for me. He got his first pimple. He didn't know what to do with it. Neither did I. I kind just kept looking at it like it was some kind of small pox on his head. He's only 12 for the Love Of Pete. In my mind it couldn't be a zit. It had to be a viral disease of some kind. Obviously. Where did my smelling-like-milk-and-talcum sweet little chubby baby go? The way of the dodo. I am so sad.
I admit I kinda knew this was coming. I knew in the way that only mothers of boys know. I knew because in the past several months walking in to the boys bedroom means being assaulted with "BoySmell." In hindsight, this odor was a harbinger of adolescent-things-to-come. It's a odoriferous bouquet of sweat socks and jock strap with a subtle top note of stale potato chips. It's a scent sensation not entirely dissimilar to the highly recognizable "LockerRoom" or "WrestlingMat" fragrance, but not nearly quite as pungent.
"BoySmell" hangs insidiously in the air. You know it's there. You raise your nose to catch the whiff like a dog catching the smell of a nearby skunk. You glance around the room trying to determine the exact source of the odor so that you can eliminate it. You realize this is an impossibility.
I change their sheets regularly. I remove all dirty laundry within a 24 hour period. George the Younger takes showers daily of his own volition. Henry is thrown forcefully in to the shower every other day. George the Younger is also a BIG fan of Axe. I open their windows to air out the place on all days when the weather is not producing heavy rain or hail. In other words, I feel that all reasonable precautions are taken. And yet..."BoySmell"
The consolation is that I know I am not alone. I have spoken to other boy moms who know and experience this smell on a daily basis. We agree that the WORST social enterprise right now is a sleepover with more than five boys age 10-15. This activity requires a significant financial investment to purchase giant bottles of Febreeze and lots of open windows. Further, after a couple of years of confusion as to "what-the-hell-is-that-smell-that-comes-home-permeated-in-the-boys-clothes-from-camp?????" question - - I know. Copious long term exposure to "BoySmell". Mystery solved.
So, we got the smell and now we've got the pimple. I did what every Mom does when faced with the first adolescent zit. I laughed at him. No, I didn't. I'm not that cruel. Well, yes I am that cruel, but I still didn't do it. I went to the store and I bought him some good face wash, some decent moisturizer and some keihl's version of pimple cream. If you remember, I myself have recently experienced some breakouts. So, I went for the good pimple cream since it looks like I am going to have to share it. Geeze. "BoySmell" and the sharing of cosmetics. A new era.
2 comments:
I bought one of those solid air fresheners. You know the kind in the plastic vessel that you twist open to reveal some gelatin like substance? Yes, I had become so desperate that I had succumb to merely masking the odor instead of getting rid of it completely.
But you know what? "Boy Smell" as you so fondly put it, ate that stuff up in less than a two days! I walked in there and it had been eaten through. I kid you not.
Heh. Boy smell. When do they outgrow it? 30?
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